Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytale
by Scorpiogal
Summary: Sesshomaru's personal thoughts and feelings for your eyes only!
1. The motivation

YES!! I LOVE "The Very Secret Diaries of Legolas" which inspired this story in a way. Hope ya like! ^_~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own this Anime or any other Anime. I just own some wannabe fics about other people's characters with some characters that I made up reflecting the not owned ones. While at the same time, I might add, stereotyping and misusing out of place logos and other products in the wrong places.  
  
(It's like thoughtcrime! ^.~) I feel so dirty!  
  
Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffy Tail  
  
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Day 1: Entry 1  
  
Yes, it's not easy being the prettiest character. If you've ever wondered WHY Naraku went after us, I can tell you, oh let me! It might seem like that tall, dark, pretty (yet not as pretty as me), guy is after Inu Yasha and Kikyo the most. Don't believe it.  
  
Naraku is after ME!  
  
That's right, ME!!  
  
Do you know why? He's jealous because I'm the prettiest character.  
  
Not that he doesn't go after my stupid not-so-pretty brother. He doesn't like him because he's annoying! (What a shock!)  
  
And Kikyo? She's just a prissy little wannabe bitch! She's jealous of me too of course.  
  
I'm the prettiest.  
  
Day 1: Entry 2  
  
Gonna go look for Naraku today. But first a bath. Hope this hot spring isn't monitored by fangirls again.  
  
Day 1: Entry 3  
  
Shit!  
  
Day 1: Entry 4  
  
Jaken finds the crappiest hot springs. He can't really do anything right. The only reason I keep him around is to baby-sit Rin. He also gives good manicures. Plus I can make him go to the grocery store or get a fish sandwich any time I want.  
  
Nancy Pushover Booger man.  
  
Kinda cute though. But the warty green skin kind of a turn off.  
  
Day 1: Entry 5  
  
About to go look for Naraku.  
  
Think he's trying to find a way to absorb me.  
  
Interesting thought, but he only wants me so he can make himself prettier.  
  
Snow White primadonna!  
  
Day 1: Entry 6  
  
Gross! Jaken's skin starting to peel in the heat. Wanted to use my lotion. I told him to get his own freakn' lotion. Bad idea. Now we have to live with the 'molting molester.'  
  
I'm WAY prettier then that shit head.  
  
Day 1: Entry 7  
  
No, seriously. He looks like a shit Head!  
  
Day 1: Entry 8  
  
Rin being annoying. She wants candy. Like hell I'll give her a gram of sugar! Still have nightmares from the last time she had a jolly rancher. Brrrrr.  
  
Day 1: Entry 9  
  
Jaken, the short and kinda cute, has given Rin a piece of Botan Rice Candy. Memo to self. Kill annoying Frog, get tranquilizers for Rin.  
  
Day 1: Entry 10  
  
More Memos to self. Kill brother, who could not be as pretty as me if he tried. Kill Naraku, who is pretty but not as pretty as me. Oh how he wishes he were me!  
  
Kill Yue from Card Captors for trying to impersonate me. But, he's not as pretty as me, right? I'm the prettiest. Now where was I, oh right! Memos: tell Jaken to go buy the curler brush, the hair detangler, a box of chocolate (The dark kind. Plain milk chocolate is boring) cucumber melon lotion. Kill brother. (oh, wait! I already said that.) Well then I'll embarrass him, then kill him.  
  
Day 1: Entry 11  
  
I'm the prettiest, not Yue or Naraku.  
  
Day 1: Entry 12  
  
Also get some shampoo. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Day 2: Entry 11  
  
Jaken has a cold. Or something. His voice is even crappier then usual. He's seriously unattractive. I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, he'd be a -10.54. Where as on the same scale, I'd be infinity.  
  
Day 2: Entry 12  
  
I tell you what, Frog Princess had better not give his cold to Rin. Then there would really be a problem.  
  
Day 2: Entry 13  
  
Was that a sneeze I heard?  
  
Day 2: Entry 14  
  
Oh, Snaps.  
  
Day 2: Entry 15  
  
Seriously rethinking Jaken ever being 'cute' in any way.  
  
Day 2: Entry 16  
  
Rin seems to have calmed down now.  
  
Yes, it took her THIS LONG to finally stop jumping around from the sucrose!  
  
My gracious, you would have thought SHE was the frog!  
  
Day 2: Entry 17  
  
A screaming, repetitive frog with an ear splitting, knuckle cracking, mind numbingly loud and obnoxious singing voice.  
  
Day 2: Entry 18  
  
She's STILL singing!  
  
Day 2: Entry 19  
  
STILL singing!  
  
Day 2: Entry 19  
  
It's bad enough Inu Yasha cut off my arm. Can't cover both ears.  
  
Day 2: Entry 20  
  
Thinking of cutting off ears.  
  
Day 2: Entry 21  
  
"THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!!"  
  
Day 2: Entry 22  
  
Lambchop is the devil.  
  
Going to let Naraku know he has some serious competition.  
  
Day 2: Entry 23  
  
Going to send Jaken out to get some ear plugs.  
  
And to take Rin with him.  
  
Day 2: Entry 24  
  
GODS NO!!! IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD!!!  
  
Day 2: Entry 25  
  
IT CLINGS TO MY BRAIN LIKE A RABID SQUIRREL!!!! WHY MUST ONE AS PRETTY AS ME SUFFER SO!!! T_T  
  
Day 2: Entry 26  
  
Better now. Jaken came back with the ear plugs. He also got the chocolate and detangler.  
  
He got the plain milk chocolate.  
  
He also forgot the shampoo.  
  
Day: Entry 27  
  
Memo to self: Kill Jaken, put Rin on a bland diet, kill Naraku, kill non- pretty brother, get shampoo.  
  
I am SO pretty!!!  
  
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Oh my god! XD This is so freakn funny! What have I been smoking!?! (Pause of thought) It might have been that new white out. I rule at first person narrative! **^__^** 


	2. Rin's talk

Has anyone here read "The Secret Diaries" about the lord of the rings characters? Well it's good, parodies rock the house on a Tuesday night! ^_^  
  
I still don't own any Animes, but if I owned this one, I would have given Kikyo a more sinister voice, and Inu Yasha a voice that was a little less whiny and a little more insane like his Japanese voice. Instead of sounding like Ranma from Ranma ½ and Bit Cloud from Zoids.  
  
These voice actors really get around, don't they? O_o  
  
I also sort of figured out why they screwed over the English translations for the TV show. It's because some Japanese words are longer then most English words, so they try to give them dialect to match the mouth movements of the Japanese characters. If they were to translate what they said word for word, it would look like that gay-ass speed racer! The part about choosing what the characters say, is a whole other mystery of dubber stupidity in itself.  
  
'Go Speed racer! Go Speed racer! Go Speed Racer, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!'  
  
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Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytale  
  
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Day 3: Entry 28  
  
Went to go take a bath this morning, where I was once again, assaulted by fan girls.  
  
Day 3: Entry 29  
  
How do you like that for a start of the chapter entry?  
  
Day 3: Entry 30  
  
Rin just asked where babies come from.  
  
Oh, Jaken...........  
  
Day 3: Entry 31  
  
Where is that unattractive little toad?  
  
Day 3: Entry 32  
  
Shit.  
  
Day 3: Entry 33  
  
Well, since the soon to be dead amphibian is absent, I have to sit Rin down and tell her myself.  
  
This won't come out well.  
  
Day 3: Entry 34  
  
I sat her down and said, "Well Rin, there are two kinds of people, men and woman....."  
  
Day 3: Entry 35  
  
Oh good! She's just asked me what the difference is! *-_-  
  
Day 3: Entry 36  
  
"Well Rin, it's the mother that has the baby inside of her, and the father that protects her."  
  
There now, I knew I could do this! Go me!  
  
Day 3: Entry 37  
  
Rin has just asked how the baby gets inside of her............  
  
Day 3: Entry 38  
  
"I don't know Rin, it's one of the mysteries of life."  
  
Day 3: Entry 39  
  
I am so good! And pretty, too!  
  
Day 3: Entry 40  
  
I'm sure she'll figure it out for herself someday.  
  
Day 3: Entry 41  
  
Jaken has come back. Sorry 4 him!!  
  
Day 3: Entry 42  
  
Nevermind. He has just redeemed himself by bringing back the dark chocolate.  
  
Day 3: Entry 43  
  
Mmmmmmmmmm..........chooocoooolaaateee.........  
  
Day 3: Entry 44  
  
Rin has just asked for a piece of chocolate. T_T  
  
Day 3: Entry 45  
  
OH THE UNDESCRIBABLE HORROR!!!!  
  
Day 3: Entry 46  
  
Cold....so cold........  
  
Day 4: Entry 47  
  
Jaken has just left to go get some sugarless suckers, so that we may never relive such a terror again!!  
  
Day 4: Entry 48  
  
My spider senses are tingling........Naraku must have been here.  
  
Day 4: Entry 49  
  
Followed the scent, only to end up at another crater with a chewed up old castle.  
  
Day 4: Entry 50  
  
Inu Yasha sucks at what he does. It's always the same! He finds Naraku, he gets that close to destroying him, then he lets him get away! I'll have to kill him so that he stops trying to kill Naraku. Then I can kill Naraku, and every one will be happy! Especially me, which is good.  
  
Day 4: Entry 51  
  
Still pretty, though without shampoo.  
  
Day 4: Entry 52  
  
I got another sack of fan letters. Go me!  
  
Day 4: Entry 53  
  
That Lady Libra thinks she's pretty clever sending me a box of chocolate. Well if she thinks she can buy me over with candy, it had better be a bigger box, and a variety of amaretto's and coconuts!  
  
Day 4: Entry 54  
  
Even without shampoo, my hair looks fabulous!  
  
Day 4: Entry 55  
  
But imagine how much BETTER it would look if I had the shampoo.  
  
I'll send Jaken out to get some shampoo and a leash. (For Rin)  
  
Day 4: Entry 56  
  
Jaken's back. He got the leash, but no shampoo. I was going to kabong him with the two headed staff, but he said the store was completely out of shampoo. Even the cheap kind!  
  
Day 4: Entry 57  
  
Ya know what? I'm going to kabong him with the staff anyway!  
  
Day 4: Entry 58  
  
Memo to self: Sue Osco, Sue Suave, Sue Bath and Bodyworks, burn some of fan mail, buy diabetic chocolate (for Rin, can't stand the diabetic chocolate), kabong Jaken again, kill Naraku, but first kill brother, and find some freakn' shampoo!!!  
  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
What do you think? Should I make the other character's secret diaries later on? Or should I stick to strictly Sessy. 


	3. Fluffisama

Yep. Gonna stick with strictly Sessy. Afterall, it is his fic.  
  
Sessy: Damn straight!  
  
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Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail  
  
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Day 5: Entry 59  
  
Rin wants a cat. ;;;; What is she, braindead?  
  
Day 5: Entry 60  
  
She's a thoughtful child, but very strange. We were walking along when all of a sudden she says, "Hey, Sesshomaru-sama. I was wondering. What if all of us are character's in a story? What if we where all just ink drawings given speech by some lady in another dimensional realm, and we are all just characters in a really long book series that she created?"  
  
What an imagination she has!  
  
Day 5: Entry 61  
  
Rin still bugging me about the cat. I told her, "I'll think about it." In other words.....no.  
  
Day 5: Entry 62  
  
HOW CAN WE GET A CAT WHEN WE CAN'T EVEN FIND SOME FRICKN' SHAMPOO!!!??  
  
Day 5: Entry 63  
  
I am SOOOOO pretty! ^_^V  
  
Day 5: Entry 64  
  
The itsy bitsy spider, crawled up the water spout........  
  
Day 5: Entry 65  
  
Down came the rain and washed the spider out..........  
  
Day 5: Entry 66  
  
Well if there were spider's in my drain, I certainly wouldn't be singing about them!!  
  
Day 5: Entry 67  
  
I don't get that! If Jimmy cracked corn, and no one cares, why is there a song about him??  
  
Humans create songs for the worst reasons!! They should create songs about the glorious Sesshomaru.  
  
Day 5: Entry 68  
  
Well, I saw Naraku again. Not only did he try to kidnap Rin, but he wore this ghastly shade of eye shadow!!  
  
Day 5: Entry 69  
  
And he used so much of it, it was sad! He looked like a freakn' clown! He was probably trying to scare Inu Yasha. Inu Yasha's had this insane fear of clowns ever since he was eleven.......  
  
But that's another story! ^^  
  
Day 5: Entry 70  
  
Jaken is so ugly, I bet when he was born the midwife took one look at him, and committed suicide with her forceps.  
  
Day 5: Entry 71  
  
NO, RIN! YOU CANNOT HAVE A CAT!!!  
  
Day 5: Entry 72  
  
"But Sesshomaru-sama! That Kagome girl has a cat! That Sango girl has a cat! What about Rin-chan?"  
  
Day 5: Entry 73  
  
Maybe she IS a demon, pretending to be a little girl......  
  
Day 5: Entry 74  
  
I can take my mind off of Rin by reading fan mail. Replace one disturbing thing, with something twice as disturbing. I used that motto when I had Jaken and brought Rin over.  
  
Day 5: Entry 75  
  
Wow! That LadyLibra has quite the colorful vocabulary.  
  
And quite a nasty mind. =_= ;;;;  
  
Day 5: Entry 76  
  
I am the prettiest.  
  
Day 5: Entry 77  
  
I think we are going to the other side of Japan to look around.  
  
Day 5: Entry 78  
  
Has anyone ever wondered why that Sango girl has a boomerang when boomerangs weren't even introduced into Japan unitl way after the Tokagawa Shogunate?  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Short Chapter, but I can't think at the moment. 


	4. Enrique

Long time since update……but at least I did anyway…which is more then I can say for some other writers I know…………^^

My English teacher has just redeemed herself! She rounded my grade up from a C+ to a B-  ^_^

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Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail

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Day 6: Entry 79

Enrique Iglesias……………………………………

Damn he's hot…………..

Day 6: Entry 80

Is it just me, or does that Kagome girl wear an extremely short skirt??

I mean look at her! Can it get any shorter????? My brother doesn't call her a "wench" for nothing…………

Day 6: Entry 81

Though that's probably why he chose her as his mate………

Yeah, you know they be gettn' it on…………….

Day 6: Entry 82

_Quiro__ ser tu heroe…………….._

Mmmmm…….Enrique Iglesias………….you can be my hero any day! ^_^

Day 6: Entry 83

He's almost as pretty as me! ^_^

Day 6: Entry 84

Rin, are you hearing impaired??! How many times do I have to stress that you cannot have a cat!! You're like a friggn' leech on the skin of my life!!!

Day 6: Entry 85

Uh-oh, the puppy dog eyes! OO

Day 6: Entry 86

ANYTHING BUT THE PUPPY DOG EYES!! 

Day 6: Entry 87

OvO "Pwetty pwease with sugar, sprinkles, and a big bright red chewy on top, Sesshomaru-sama!!"

Day 6: Entry 88

-_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;…………..and I thought Naraku was manipulative…………..

Day 6: Entry 89

"Sure Rin, you may have a cat………."

^___^ "Thank you Sesshomaru-sama!!! RIN LOVES YU!!!!"

^____^ She's a sweet child………..

Day 6: Entry 90

………….But it was all my decision you know, it's not like she messed with my mind or anything, I was just tired of her complaining, that's all………..

Day 6: Entry 91

"Jaken, go with Rin and get her a cat. Let her get whichever one she wants. And don't over charge my credit card this time!"

Day 6: Entry 92

"-and while your at it, get the shampoo!.....and some more chocolate!..........and some of that fluffy yogurt stuff!............and a paddleball!"

Day 6: Entry 93

He'd better get a good cat, or else heads will roll………….just like bowling balls………

Day 6: Entry 94

They're back. She happened to get the ugliest, most evil looking cat I've ever seen! 

And Jaken forgot the shampoo again!!!

Day 6: Entry 95

Rin: "I'll call him……..Captain Fluffypants!" ^_^

What is she smoking? I'll take two of them…………………

Day 6: Entry 96

Memo to self……….find Naraku, roll Jaken's head, get an Enrique CD, figure out what Rin's smoking, kill brother, destroy the mailman, and get some shampoo! For crying out loud! CVS is worthless!!!


	5. Shampoo Stealer

Mmmmm….bacon bits….yummy….^_^ *stuffs a handful of bacon bits into her mouth* You're still here??? OMG! Well, here's the next chapter! ;;;;…..

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Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail

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Day 7: Entry 97

Hmmm…at a dilemma. Buy the pink nail polish, or the coral nail polish. Making a list of things I want from the store. Of course, I'm not going to go get them myself. I hope Jaken doesn't have anything planned for the afternoon. 

Cause he's going to buy them for me.

Day 7: Entry 98

Coral nail polish or Pink….heck, I'll just get both…

Day 7: Entry 99

God I HATE that cat!!!

Day 7: Entry 100

One hundredth entry!! Let's all celebrate with shampoo! Oh wait…that's right…we don't HAVE ANY SHAMPOO!!!

Day 7: Entry 101

I'm cool. I'm fine. It's just that that stupid cat is getting on my friggn' nerves! It scratched up my luffa!!

Day 7: Entry 102

Do I need any eyeshadow? No..i got some back ups just incase Rin decides to make herself "pretty" again….jeeze…

What else…well shampoo of course…it's been DAYS since I've had a good hair cleasning! Even though the artists who draw me wouldn't dare make me look ugly, (they'd better not, or else they will find themselves missing their heads….not that that will mess with the way they think…) ahem…I don't like the feeling of dirty hair! It's just so…dirty!

Chocolate? Yes. You can NEVER have enough chocolate. And anyone who thinks otherwise can go f*** themselves….those asexual bastards…

Day 7: Entry 103

That cat…is sitting…on MY tail!!!! 

GET OFF MY TAIL YOU FLAMING CAT!!!! 

OH SH*T!!! HE SOILED IT!!! YOU ARE DEAD CAPTAIN FLUFFYPANTS!!! SO DEAD I CAN SMELL YOUR DECAYING CAT FLESH ALREADY!!! 

Day 7: Entry 104

Rin threw herself on the cat and said, "Please don't hurt Captain Fluffypants, Sesshomaru-sama! He didn't mean to hurt your tail!" T_T

Potty train that cat Rin! Or at least teach him to piss on Jaken! It's not like it will make a difference on that toad's smell or appearance!

Day 7: Entry 105

Gave Jaken the list. He better not even think about coming back here without shampoo or he will so die! Roast his warty green froggy @$$!!

Day 8: Entry 106

Oh yeah. He is so dead. It's already the next day, and that godforsaken imp has still not returned! "Rin. Teach Captain Fluffypants to attach small green men. Not only will it kill Jaken, but it will control the Martian populous!!"

Rin looks up at me wide eyed and said, "Sesshomaru-sama? What are you smoking? Rin would like two of them….."

Where the hell does she get this sh*t!?!?

Day 8: Entry 107

Just got a ransome letter. 

Dear Sir or Madam:

I have captured your little green henchman. I am also holding the world's supply of shampoo. That's right! Walk into any store and you won't find a trace of shampoo! Not even Meyers! And that joint has everything! If you ever wanna see the frog man or the shampoo again, you must deliver me the dead body of Inu Yasha. Put it under the god tree when you have it. And maybe put him in a body bag. Dead people smell icky.

The signature of the kidnapper looked like it had been written by accident then tried to be scribbled out, but the eraser was old and bad, so there was a pink smeared semi visable name below the note. "Naraku".

Well I tell you, I could care less about what happens to Jaken. If it was Rin, I would actually make an attempt. But this is my shampoo we're talking about here!! The future of my hair is at stake! So I am off to rescue you shampoo!

"Rin! Get the blockbusters!"

"Yeah! ^_^ I want to rent a movie!"

Dunce child…;;;;;


	6. Taking Care

Okay, trying to keep the continuous thought thing working for me……wait…………………………darn it, I lost it………..oh well, what else can I say? I like FLCL!! SUE MEH!!! ^__^

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Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail

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Day 6: Entry 97

Been alone with Rin and Mr. Fluffypants for an hour….I think I'm starting to crack……

Day 6: Entry 98

"Sesshomaru-sama, where is Jaken-sama?"

Day 6: Entry 99

"Sesshomaru-sama, where is Jaken-sama?"

Day 6: Entry 100

The one-hundreth entry and STILL no shampoo…pathetic, isn't it? T_T

Day 6: Entry 101

"Sesshomaru-sama, where is Jaken-sama?"

"I don't know, Rin." said through clenched teeth…..

Day 6: Entry 102

Oh dear god….Mr. Fluffypants is liking himself "down there"….;;;;;

He'd better not lick me or my tail next or it's curtains for Mr. Fluffypants, and let me tell you, they won't be frilly and pink like my mother's!

Day 6: Entry 103

Nooooo, I don't live with my mother…;;;;

Day 6: Entry 104

Alright hell, she kicked me out okay!!?? HAPPY?!! 

EVER WONDER WHY I'M SO RICH AND HOT AND WANDERING AROUND THE FRICKN' WILDERNESS???? WELL NOW YOU KNOW!! SESSY'S MOMMY HATES HIM JUST BECAUSE HE WAS CAUGHT WITH A GIRL ON THE KITCHEN TABLE!!!

Day 6: Entry 105

Oh, btw, April Fools! ^_~

I love me. ^_^

Day 6: Entry 106

I am soooo pretty.

Day 6: Entry 106

God damnit…Rin just pulled me out of my vision of myself to ask me "Are we there yet, Sesshomaru-sama?"

Day 6: Entry 107

Oh yes Rin, we are so there. We are so there, I can see the shampoo gleaming in the sunlight.

For those of you at home who are as slow as my not-so-pretty brother, that was sarcasm. 

Day 6: Entry 108

"Sesshomaru-sama, where is Jaken-sama?"

I just told you Rin, that I don't know. Hopefully my brother hasn't found him or he will delay everyone elses search for Naraku by thinking he will defeat him, and when he doesn't, Naraku starts his annoying little game of hide and seek all over again!! God, I'm going to kill him….Naraku and Inu Yasha both….and Jaken for not being here to take care of Rin, it's his fault for getting frog-napped! 

Day 6: Entry 109

"Sesshomaru-sama, where is Jaken-sama?"

Rin, are you hearing impaired, or are you just really stupid? Or maybe she has short term memory loss like that blue fish from that "Finding Nemo" movie. Have you seen it? I took Rin to see it a while ago and I thought it was one of the most thought provoking movie since Lassie Come Home…....Lassie was sad T_T……..

Day 6: Entry 110

I cried when I saw Lassie Come Home.

No lie.

Day 6: Entry 111

What is that horrible roaring sound??? 

Day 6: Entry 112

It's like the disgruntled dog demon from China town! He growled so loud, that the earth shook!! 

"Sesshomaru-sama, Rin is hungry."

Day 6: Entry 113

"You're hungry?"

"Yeah, Rin's tummy is making funny noises at her. That means she's hungry."

Day 6: Entry 114

What do little human girls eat? Chipmunks? Smaller human children? Grass? I know she isn't getting any sugar…

"Jaken-sama usually helps Rin get fruit and fish. Remember, Sesshomaru-sama?"

Ohhhhhh, riiiiight…..now I remember…I was thinking of what _I _used to eat when _I_ was a pup…except for the grass…I only ate that when I was sick, but that's another story….

Day 6: Entry 115

Okay, I actually looked places, and I didn't find any food.

Where's Jaken when you actually have a use for him?

Day 6: Entry 116

"Is Sesshomaru-sama sure Rin can eat this?"

"Oh course it is. It came from the human food store."

I mean "ci-gar-ettes" are normal children's food right?

Rin took one bite and spit them back out, "Ew! Yucky!!"

"What?"

T_T "Sesshomaru-sama, it tastes like carcinogens!"

Picky, picky….that means I have to go back and get something else…I shouldn't have to do this…

Why do I do it?

Day 6: Entry 117

Came back a little while later with a tangerine, split it into sixths with my claws and gave it to her.

"Ah!" her eyes got all wide, and she smiled and chomped into one of the slices. "Thank yu, Sesshomaru-sama!" ^____^

^ ^ hehe….maybe that's why I do it….

Day 6: Entry 118 

Rin will be a beautiful human someday….I can tell….

Day 6: Entry 119

Wait….if she's a beautiful human, that means she'll be irresistible to men! Oo 

Day 6: Entry 120

Oh shit.

I'm just now realizing this!

Day 6: Entry 121

They'll want her to be their mate! Oo

Day 6: Entry 122 

I can feel the hernia coming already. ;;;;;;;

Day 6: Entry: 123

End of the day memos…..kill all men who so much as look at Rin in a funny way, make sure her heat is well covered by perfume or something when she's at the right age, find Jaken and kill him, find Naraku and kill him, find Inu Yasha and kill him, find the seventh season of this series episodes, the god damned writer has been gabbing about them all week and it's getting on my nerves, get Rin some more tangerines, kill the god damned writer, and save my shampoo from the clutches of Naraku!!


	7. Ouch

Okay, so I got the entries screwed up. Lop off my head and call it a day…..but don't expect to get anymore stories or updates out of me if you do!!

I'll just go where the last entry of the last chapter left off. Kay? Great, just wanted to make sure you knew. 

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Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail

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Day 7: Entry 123

"Sesshomaru-sama. Rin has to 'go'."

"Go? Go where?"

Day 7: Entry 124

-_- Oh. Go _there_. "Can you make it quick?" 

"It's number 2."

_ Ugh! Thanks for the info!

Day 7: Entry 125

Well look at what the cat dragged in. And I'm not talking about Captain Fluffypants. 

My annoying and unattractive brother is nearby. I can smell his hanyo self in the air.

And it smells like he hasn't used shampoo in years, the grimy little slob. I doubt he uses deodorant either! _

Day 7: Entry 126 

How is it that a half breed with clumpy, nappy hair, dirty fingernails, and oily skin can be leading two women around on separate leashes?? _ It's unheard of! This really is a feudal fairytale!    ;;; 

Day 7: Entry 127 

Makes me sick to my stomach. ;;;;;

I think the ulcer is coming back. 

I'm still not over the thought of Rin growing up. ;;;;;

Day 7: Entry 128

Why is that cat staring at me?

Day 7: Entry 128

I'm telling you, Captain Fluffypants is the ugliest cat I've ever seen. What does Rin see in him?

Day 7: Entry 129

_Why is he staring at me???_

Quit trying to mess with my head you butt ugly cat!! 

Sheesh! Jaken has some rivalry in the stupid/ugly department, my god!

Captain Fluffypants, the only thing uglier then you is your twin brother! 

You're so ugly, you stuck your head out the window and got arrested for littering. 

You became a stripper at Chip and Dale and killed all of the women when you did the full monty!

You're so ugly, when medusa looked at you, she turned to stone! 

Day 7: Entry 130

"RRRREOOWWWW!!!! 

O_0 "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Day 7: Entry 131

"OH DEAR GOD!! SESSHOMARU-SAMA, ARE YOU OKAY?!"

T_T Ouch….

Captain Fluffypants hid behind Rin's legs growling in harassment. 

Day 7: Entry 132

Luckily I'm a quick healer.

Day 7: Entry 133

I don't know what I'd do if one of those horrendous gashes that were on my face actually became a scare. 

Day 7: Entry 134

That Captain Fluffypants is lucky I don't decide to eat him. I don't eat junk food. -_-

Day 7: Entry 135

That's not good. In my attempt to get away from Inu Yasha, I've only gotten closer. He's somewhere nearby, I can smell the other members of his group now. There's that smelly little fox cub, who smells like a sticky dirty kid but Inu Yasha smells worse. There's the two female's in the group, one cares more about her hygiene then the other one. And there's the priest too. 

Day 7: Entry 136

Hold up. There's another scent out there.

Day 7: Entry 137

Well if it isn't Miss Bitch-tastic herself. Kikyo the living dead.

Of course, she's wearing that pink shade of lipstick that clashes with her priestess pants and make her look totally sluttish. Ugh! I can't stand it! Who does her make up anyway? If I were her, I would seriously look into a little piece of makeup called "blush". Has she ever heard of it?

Probably not. 

Day 7: Entry 138

Oh wait. I should have asked her where Naraku is. _

It's her fault. If she hadn't distracted me with her horrendous makeup scheme, I would have remembered to ask. T_T

Day 7: Entry 139

Damn Contradicting, Wannabe, Priestess, Demon, Bitch…… 

Day 8: Entry 140

The wind must be working against me today. Instead of helping me in the opposite direction of my younger brother with oily non-attractive skin, it lead me right toward him and his "fanny pack" of humans. 

My must one as beautiful as me suffer so?

Day 8: Entry 141

I'm the prettiest character…..

……That's stuck with a little girl who asks me were "Jaken-sama" is ever five minutes……..

……And is stuck without shampoo…….

…....And has a little brother with poor oral hygiene……..

……Shit…….


	8. What is WRONG with these people?

Hmmm….I wore two watches today, for some odd reason……neither of them had the correct time…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Day 8: Entry 142

Well it just so happens that I walked right into their camp………where Rin and I were suddenly face to face with the slutty school girl, the contradicting monk, the strangely made exterminator, the whiny little fix kid, and my greasy brother. 

Pure bliss. - - 

Day 8: Entry 143

Inu Yasha got all excited and jumped up. "Sesshomaru!" And he drew that big-ass sword, which should be mine – 

"Lower your sword before you hurt yourself, Inu Yasha."

Oh, god forbid……-_-

He is such a moron. I wonder how many times he's swung that thing around and cut himself by accident….

When he was a kid, he was the biggest klutz.

"What do you want, Sesshomaru??" he growled.

Well let's see…. shampoo, a slab of chocolate, and some strawberry bubble bath…but I'm not getting that, am I?….

"I'm looking for Naraku."

"Well we just came from a fight with him." The exterminator girl said. "He got away again.

GOD DAMNIT!! 

LEAVE IT TO LIL'BOWOW OVER HERE TO MESS UP!!!

"Yeah, so get lost!" Inu Yasha shouted.

Not a chance. I'm not leaving him alone so that he can find Naraku and chase him off again. I'll just wait for Naraku to try and attack Inu Yasha again, then I'll kill him…

Day 8: Entry 144

Let's see…..I think I'm forgetting something…..

Day 8: Entry 145

There was something else I was supposed to do when I found Inu Yasha…….

Don't you just hate it when this happens? 

Why does my beautiful brain have to dysfunction now…..

Day 8: Entry 146

I guess it'll come to me as I go…

Day 8: Entry 147

I'm the prettiest.

Day 9: Entry 148

They keep shooting me funny looks….like I'm a Nympho or something….

Day 9: Entry 149

What??? Haven't they ever seen a bishi before???

Stupid humans….stupid hanyo….

Day 9: Entry 150 

"So…what? Do you people just walk around aimlessly till you find something?"

They all kinda look at each other like they've never been asked this before.

The slutty school girl shrugged. "Uh…well, I guess so."

……..

Day 9: Entry 151 

Wow. That's whack. 

Day 9: Entry 152

Hey! I see a cloud that looks like a poptart! 

Day 9: Entry 153

…….....Row row row your boat, gently down the stream………is this song only about a boat or is there actual symbolism to it?

Day 9: Entry 154

"Life is but a dream"? 

Yeah man, that's _deep_….

Day 9: Entry 155

This is boring….

These people are boring….

They aren't just boring, they're _boring ME! _

Day 9: Entry 156

"We don't just walk around aimlessly!" Inu Yasha suddenly shouted.

Yep, took him that long to respond.

I'm aware of the sadness…

And I'm sure he's going to tell me why he and his smelly little friends don't walk around aimlessly….

"We follow leads and look for certain types of places!" the little fox cub said. He just decided to jump into the argument now. 

"That or Kagome picks up the sense of shikon shards!" Inu Yasha said, as if he had made me look stupid or something – what a sad fool…

All I have to do to make him look even more stupid is look off to the side and ask, "How do you know if she's faking it or not?"

By the look on his grimy face, I'm guessing he's either a) confused, b) believing it, or c) somehow all of the above. 

Day 9: Entry 157

I vouch for C myself. 

Day 9: Entry 158

"What are you talking about?! What are you trying to say?!" Inu Yasha looks mad and confused. He is used to looking this way….

"I'm just saying, maybe sometimes she guesses, or has inside info, or is just trying to lead you somewhere, that's all." Sesshomaru said.

"Kagome would never do that!" Inu Yasha's getting all frustrated. I can tell his brain capacity is overloading…..

maybe he'll have a stroke….

Or not.

Can't have everything I guess.

"Don't listen to him, Inu Yasha. He's just trying to make trouble!" the monk said, as if he actually knew what he was talking about most of the time himself. 

So I rolled my eyes and told him off, I mean really, it's bad enough that I have to talk to my half breed brother let alone his groupies!

And Inu Yasha, being the human lover that he is, defended the monk guy and asked, "If that's the way you feel, then why don't you f*ck off! Quit following us!"

Day 9: Entry 159 

"Rin cover your ears - Because a bunch of god damn people decided they'd pick a god damn fight with the god damn guy who I'm looking for but can't god damn find because those god damned people god damned scared him off!!" 

Day 9: Entry 160

Jesus Christ, I must've sounded like a friggn' redneck there! 

Day 9: Entry 161

Not that I care what they think. They can't even control their own hygiene.

Day 9: Entry 162

Wait, I know what'll piss em' off….

This is always fun.

Day 9: Entry 163

"So she always knows what she's talking about does she?" 

He didn't answer, as if he's trying to pull off the 'I'm too cool to answer' thing. 

Just like how he thought he was too cool to learn common sense….or where to get soap…;;;;

Lordy what a reek! 

Anyway….

"Tell me, Inu Yasha….has she ever told you that there was a shikon shard up her skirt?"

Day 9: Entry 164

I should have bet money. If I had a dime for every time he did something predictable….i would have a freaking lot of dimes…..

Day 9: Entry 165

"YOU B*STARD!" Inu Yasha swung his sword at me, and as usual I dodged it with ease. 

Yes, I am both amazingly fast and amazingly gorgeous. Quite a nice combo actually….


	9. Ebay Sucksssssssssssssss

What is it with everyone not updating their stories?? I mean JEEZE people! Stop acting like ME! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fairytail

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Day 9: Entry 166

Damn you Ebay….damn you to hell! 

Day 9: Entry 167 

If it weren't for my supreme patience of Sesshomaru, I would have already smitten that dag'blamed computer and Ebay and the person who came up with Ebay. 

Day 9: Entry 168

And the coffee mug that has a picture of Ebay on it! And the proposal suggesting Ebay! And the person that vetoed Ebay! And the patent that copyrights Ebay!

Day 9: Entry 169 

Alright, it's old.

Day 10: Entry 170

Why smite Ebay you ask? Well because someone had some Herbal Essence on there and even though I, TheGreatSess-chan@aol.com was the highest bidder, it was instead delivered to TheGreatBess-chan@aol.com.

Day 10: Entry 171

Rin signed up my address that way, so don't get the wrong idea! 

Day 10: Entry 172

Pop-ups…damn those pop-ups…..I will smite the pop-ups….

Day 10: Entry 173

Huh? Jen-cam? What the hell is that?

Day 10: Entry 174

Oh fudge….

Day 10: Entry 175

Well Sesshomaru-sama, what have we learned today? 

That pop ups can lead to lesbian porn sights.

My virgin eyes…..

Day 10: Entry 176

Don't even ask me if I'm a virgin or not cause it's none of your business.

Like I'd even tell you eitherway…

Day 10: Entry 177

Lordy.

Day 10: Entry 178

No Rin, you may not go onto the Neopets website….

Day 10: Entry 179

No Rin! The last time you were on there, I didn't get any of my voicemails done! 

Day 10: Entry 180

Fine. You can go on as long as you're quiet….Whiney….

I wonder what Inu Yasha and his insane human poesy are up to…

Day 10: Entry 181

You know that Kagome girl's boobs are fake.

Day 10: Entry 182

There's no way that any female alive and at that age could have breasts that are that big and that perky unless they were implants, steroids, or pregnant.

Day 10: Entry 183

It can't be steroids. If it were steroids the side effects would have her looking somewhat man-ish which she does not…

Day 10: Entry 184

She doesn't act or smell like a pregnant woman, though she throws off enough sexual tension toward the males of her group, one would have thought that she'd be knee deep in sex.

I mean really! Implants, short skirts, acting like a stupid girly teenager, the only thing that would keep my brother's hands off is the fact that he's an indecisive idiot.

Day 10: Entry 185

Not that Kikyo hasn't had her share of plastic surgery too. How do you think her skin got so white?

Sure, you'll see her walking down the street on a freaking sunny day with an umbrella open like Michael Jackson does.

Day 10: Entry 186

And Michael Jackson? Hell, I'm not even going to go down that road…


	10. Brain Fart

WOO!! Been a long time since I updated ne? I got lots to keep me busy in my life….

Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail

Day 10: Entry 187

Dude. It's only been like a day and I'm way past sick of these people…..

Day 10: Entry 188

Don't these people _ever_ get tire of ramen???

Why don't they bathe more often?!

If it weren't for two factor's I wouldn't even waste my freakin' time!

1.) I gotta make sure my stupid brother doesn't do anything stupid when he finds Naraku – and he WILL find Naraku….he'd better….

2.) This pocky thing is amazing!

Day 10: Entry 189

The future is a bright and beautiful place!

And POCKY is the future!

Day 10: Entry 190

OoooOOoooooohhh!!

Good god! This stuff is better then sex!

Hey Kagome-wench! Good news! I've decided not to kill you!

Day 10: Entry 191

Anyways…back to more pressing matters at hand….

They still haven't run into Naraku and that means that I still don't have my shampoo!!

You know what it also means?? I'm about to rip my brother a new….wait a minute….

Day 10: Entry 192

I remember what I was going to do!!!

……

Oh fudge I lost it…Got it again!

Lost it.

…………….

Day 10 Entry 193

It'll come to me……eventually….

Day 10 Entry 194

They always come back to Sesshomaru on their hands and knees…..

Day 10 Entry 195

Shut up.


	11. HOOHAH! KAGURA!

Mooooooooooooo………

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail

Day 11 Entry 196

Ohmigod! Guess what glorious happening happened to happen upon our happenings!!!!1!

Day 11 Entry 197

Seriously! GuesS!!!!

Day 12 Entry 198

Okay, I'll give you a hint! It's not Jaken, it's not Enrique, it's not Naraku – but it's almost as good!!!!!!

Day 13 Entry 199

HOOHAH!! KAGURA!!

Now there is a sight for sore eyes!

Day 14 Entry 200

For dry, red eyes, Clear Eyes is Awesome…

Wow.

Day 14 Entry 201

…..Anyway……

I HAVE ENTERED THE HAPPY PLACE!!! AND I DO NOT MEAN CHUCKIE CHEESE!!!!

God! Being stuck with all of this CRAP for the past couple of days, it is GREAT to see a hot sexy bitch like her! RAWL!

Day 14 Entry 202

What? You thought I was completely gay? Please! I'm obviously portrayed in this story and in the manga and in the cartoon as a bi sexual.

Don't believe me? Ask any crazy fanatic who over analyzes things, they'll tell you, boi!

Set you straight!

Unlike me – kukukukuku….. whom ist bi-sessual….mufufufufufufu………

Day 14 Entry 203

Okay, I'm creeping myself out now – why don't I just tell you the story…..

I left Rin in the care of that Sango woman, because she's the most trusting person in that group….which is not very trusting considering her competition --

I'm not totally comfortable with leaving Rin with any of them.

Inu Yasha's a bitch.

That Kagome-wench is a slut.

That Miroku guy is a priest (i.e. making him a possible child molester)

And that migget pet of theres – Shippy, Shoopy, Swappy – whatever his name is – well leaving Rin with him would be like leaving her with Scrappy Doo…..-- twitch

I'm sorry, I trailed off…..

Well I left Rin with that Sango person and went off to find a hot spring on my own, which really sucked because hot springs that are not monitored by fan girls or existent are hard to find now a day – especially when you're not in the mountainous area of Japan.

Well a few hours later after I did finally find the type of hot spring I was looking for, I stripped into my nuddie pants and climbed in.

And I had just begun to lather up when a familiar pair of shoes landed on the surfaced rock across from me. I looked up and there was little miss thang herself.

Kagura.

And didn't she just _love_ the view? Boy, I was sittin' with my legs wide open and everything!

If I didn't say anything she probably would'nt of spoken up, the horny bitch!

"What do you want?"

As if I didn't know.

Though the least she could've done was waited and watched in a pervy stalker-like way until I was clean, but whatever-

"I have a message from Naraku."

Oh.

I knew that she was here for that.

Really!

"And what would that be?"

Just flex a little bit, toss the hair….

"Well the first question he wanted me to ask was whether or not you knew who the ransome note was from…"

I could tell that she knew it was a impossibly stupid and obvious question. But Kaggy-poo was hanging in there….

And speaking of hanging….

"I know it is from him."

Boy did she look surprised. sarcasm

"If that was your answer, he also wanted me to ask why you have not done the dark deed that he has requested."

Why all the business-like talk with long works and small complicated words, Kagura?

Gosh, she's almost as pretty as me!

And she smells nice too. Like unscented deodorant….

"I have not done it because of nunya."

Kagura closed her eyes and sighed in annoyance. More then likely annoyance of Naraku.

Because no woman gets annoyed with Sesshomaru.

He becomes their "_daddy"_….mufufufufuffufufu…..

Then she asked, "He said that if you responded that way, to ask what nunya is."

_If I respond that way????_

How does Naraku know what I may or may not say?!?!

And _If???_

Does Kagura have some kind of multiple choice conversation memorized????

I responded, "Nunya business bitch."

Kagura raised an eyebrow interestedly.

Oh yeah.

She looked up into the air where one of those nasty wasps that work for Naraku hovered. She nodded to him and the wasp flew down closer to her. She reached into the neck of her kimono and pulled out a box of honey nut cherios. (How she stored it there, I do not know) She handed it to the flying insect along with a hundred bucks. The wasp took both items and flew off happily.

So I asked her, "What was that?"

"A bribe." She loosened the obi of her kimono so that her cleavage showed. She let down her hair and shook it out into shape.

Glee.

"Are you sure you don't want to kill Naraku for me?"

"Yes."

She pouted.

"No." I smiled.

She looked confused,

"Yes?" I continued to smile.

I rock.

"Hmmm," Her confused pout suddenly became an understanding smile. "Yes, I know what you want."

Great fashion sense, and totally clever! You reached inside of her sleeve. "Would this, help you to defeat Naraku?" she withdrew something that caused even I, Sesshomaru to show expression. It was a bottle of_ baby shampoo_.

She grinned, "I snuck it out of Naraku's secret hiding storage just for you – if you think it will help you to defeat Naraku."

This was too good to be true!

"Tell me where the hiding place is!"

"I can't."

"Why not?!"

"Because Naraku's secret hiding storage is a place so secretly hidden that not even I know where it is!"

That sucks.

"Well then how did you get that bottle from it if you don't know where it is?"

Kagura paused, "I have no idea how. I was wondering the same question on the way here."

Crap.

_Another _paradox!

So she shampooed my hair for me and after a few good rounds of hot sex in the water, I returned to Inu and co feeling rejuvenated and beautiful again!

Now would definitely find Naraku!

------------------------------------------------

nuddie pants is a british term for being _naked_!


	12. OMFG! Oo

Dude, what do you want from me! I'm trying to get into freakin' college!

Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail

Day 14: Entry 204

I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!

Pretty! And witty and- ….. -bright! --

Day 14: Entry 205

What? What did you think I was going to say?

Day 14: Entry 206

Homophobes. --

Day 14: Entry 207

Or is it Bi-Homophobes?

Does it matter what you call it?

Day 14: Entry 208

Oh whatever.

I'm not going to dwell on it all day…

…..

…….

Day 14: Entry 209

"Sesshomaru-sama, you're back!"

Rin jumped up and ran over to me with her mouth and hands covered in some kind of food.

Oh well. So much for the bath.

Day 14: Entry 210

Well, now that I've been with them for only a few days (which seem like an eternity in hell) I'm beginning to think that they're never going to find Naraku and I'll just be friggin' stuck with them forever.

Forever or until I stab myself. Whichever one comes first.

Day 14: Entry 211

That annoying fox kid is running around the friggin' camp fire singing one of the stupid songs that Rin probably taught him while I was in the spring.

God it's annoying. His voice is _sooo_so so so _so_annoying!

Rin! Pass me my sword!

Day 14: Entry 212

I don't care if Captain Fluffypants is sitting in your lap and purring in comfort! Pass me my friggin' sword!

Day 14: Entry 213

- - Grrrrrrrrrrrrr…..God damn cat….keeping me from my massacre and possible suicide…I think I'm gonna bust…

Jesus , just the sight of that cat is enough to flatten the hardest erection….

Oh crap, I think I'm starting to sound like the writers pervy OC. > ;;

Day 14: Entry 214

OMFG!!!1! O-O IT'S NARAKU!!!!

THAT IS SO RANDOM!!!

Day 14: Entry 215

No wait, my brother was able to slice off it's head.

It must be the puppet. --

Day 14: Entry 216

Yup, it was. TT fudgie…

Day 14: Entry 217

WAIT! Oo HE'S BACK!!!

NO! It was a puppet, too! OO

There he is again!!!

No! It wasn't him _or_ a puppet! x IT WAS MICHAEL FRIGGIN' JACKSON!!!

Day 14: Entry 218

Shit, this has lawsuit written all over it!

Good thing I wasn't the one who did it. Not that I wouldn't of loved to….

Yeah I know I should pity the freak, but I don't even want him in the same _state_ as Rin!! He can have Jakken if he wants…

Day 14: Entry 219

"Hello, Inu Yasha."

SHT!! Oo He just popped out of no where with Kagura and Kanna at his sides!

Day 14: Entry 220

"Naraku!"

Inu Yasha whipped out his big ass sword – which should be mine of course….

Him having a bigger sword then me doesn't symbolize _anything_! Seriously!

"Stand down Inu Yasha, his business is with me."

It was pointless for me to say that, because he doesn't listen to a word I say anyway….

Stupid little brothers…never listening to their older brothers when they are obviously right…

"Sesshomaru, I'm disappointed in you. Traveling around with the likes of Inu Yasha is one thing, but not killing him like I asked? Well that's just lazy."

Now I remember what I was going to do! I was going to kill my brother!

But I'm a little bit busy right now.

"Kagura!" Naraku said.

What a lovely lipgloss she's wearing. She licked her lips and winked at me.

I trust that it was good for you then?

Then she dragged out Jaken whom was bound, gagged, and the imp I wouldn't have even cared less about seeing.

"Do as I command, Sesshomaru – and you may have your henchmen and shampoo."


	13. Pretty and Witty and Gay

Surprised to see me again? I know I sure am. Oo Let's just hope my sense of humor is what it used to be now that I'm all grown up. X3 S'right, beotches.

Although, you might have to go back and reread it like I did. . ;;;

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Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytail

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Day 14: Entry 221

Who the hell does that pussy little she-male think he is?

Ordering I, the Great Sesshomaru-sama to do his dirty work for him?

Not that I wouldn't love to get rid of my gods-forsaken flea bag of a brother, but still!

"_Don't tell me what to do_."

Jeebus, I sound like a punk teenager. Not that I care what they think. I am a wild stallion that cannot be cornered. Son of a great feudal lord! For gosh sakes people, If anyone around here is going to have the cahones to order people around here, it's going to be me!

….-- I had servants before Naraku even demon-iformed……is that a word?

Day 14: Entry 222

"What was that again?" Naraku put a hand to his ear.

You heard me, you Frumple-faced, crotch pheasant! You cannot order the Great Sesshomaru-sama around like one of your asexually made offspring!

And while Kagura is a shmexy bitch, she's still Naraku's weird ass love child. It's curse I'm afraid.

"What – what was that? I didn't hear you!" Naraku then started talking to himself because he's a dousch bag. "Why do I wear this baboon pelt thing? It covers my ears and makes it hard to hear shit."

Only stupid dicks have conversations with themselves.

……..

Day 14: Entry 223

Diaries don't count.

Day 14: Entry 224

My diary is a forum for my heart, so shut'chur god damn mouth! . 

Day 14: Entry 225

Inu Yasha was shouting at us not to ignore him or something like that, wasn't really paying attention. Whatever he said, it probably would have killed some of my brain cells. And my brain cells are as beautiful and glamorous as I am.

Day 14: Entry 226

And I am one beautiful, glamorous, drop dead gorgeous, sexy bitch.

Day 14: Entry 227

……

Day 14: Entry 228

You know what, I don't like to call myself a bitch when I am so obviously NOT a bitch. -.- I mean, just look at how obviously masculine I am!

Day 14: Entry 229

LOOK AT IT!

Day 14: Entry 230

"Don't tell you what to do, eh? Does that mean you don't want your shampoo or imp?"

Whatever, you hearing impaired goth boy!

"I'm going to force you to tell me the location of the shampoo."

Kagura then said something to Naraku behind her fan. And I'm pretty sure she wasn't giving him beauty tips.

Day 14: Entry 231

Shit…am I getting gay-er or something?

Day 14: Entry 232

That's redonkulous….

Day 14: Entry 233

Tsk. Redonkulous is the new Rediculous!

Get with the program!

Day 14: Entry 234

Naraku looked from Kagura to me. Probably checking me out. Who could blame him really?

Day 14: Entry 235

He nodded to Kagura while still looking at me.

Can't take his eyes off of me, what did I say?

He could have had a chance of doing it with me at one point, but he lost it forever when he messed with the shampoo.

Sucks to be him! That's all I can say…

Day 14: Entry 236

With a wave of her fan, Kagura sent Jaken flying. Guess she underestimated the weight of the midget amphibian, because he only landed about halfway between me and her.

You'd think that a wind demon would have a better grasp of the laws of physics. I shake my head in disappointment while recalling this.

Day 14: Entry 237

"Sesshomaru-sama! You have come to save your faithful servant, Jaken!" TT

"One side, Jaken!" Whacked that little freako out of the way with a knife hand strike. "I shall take back the shampoo that is rightfully mine!"

"Kagura!" Naraku said. Because apparently just saying her name is enough to send her into action. She's such a whore. XD

Day 14: Entry 238

Easy fight. Delivered a firm bitch – slap to Kagura's face.

Everyone knows that only three things can defeat a whore: The police, Jack the ripper, and a strong pimp hand.

Day 14: Entry 239

Caught Naraku! How did I do it you ask? Well in order to catch Naraku, you have to be quick, or else he'll disappear in a poof of smoke like a leprechaun or Night Crawler from X-Men….the original X-Men when it wasn't a flash of light…..they did it right in the second movie…..though he was kinda gay….

Day 14: Entry 240

Shut the fudge up!

--------------------------------------------

I have to end it now since I have to get up early tomorrow…but seriously, it really is almost over now. Though you won't trust me to update soon. That's fine. You'll regret not being there for that last chapter.


	14. wtf? The End?

Woo! Someone drew me a picture of my witto character, Shio! and that rocks my socks! You'll find it on You can look up my the name scorpiogal and check it out in my favorites, or you can try typingin the name Yahiko-chan cause she's the one who made it! When I get stuff like that, it inspires me so! heart, hint, heart, hint

Also, I was looking at some of my reviews and I received a very interesting comment, that Sesshomaru was getting weirder every chapter. I like a good challenge, so I've come up with a good excuse for it! Sesshomaru is getting weirder because he's been without his shampoo for so long that he's losing his mind!

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Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffytale

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Day 14: Entry 241

Campbell's Chicken Noodle – possibilities……

Day 14: Entry 242

I'm at the abandoned warehouse by the docks and I've got Naraku tied up in a chair, with a single ceiling light spotlighting him like a suspect on Law and Order. X3

The beginning music of that show makes me think of the weather channel. .

Day 14: Entry 243

"Spill your guts about the shampoo, or else I will spill them for you." I said.

"Do you really think you've gotten me so easy, Sesshomaru? I have summoned demons and they'll be surrounding the building in a manner of seconds, waiting for my signal to tear the building and you apart. As we speak, Kagura and Kanna are getting into position for escape tactic code: "Dock warehouse". And Inu Yasha's team is hot on our trail and will soon create so much ruckus that I will have more then enough opportunity to escape!"

Day 14: Entry 244

"Actually, Naraku. I already paid those demons off with crack cocaine. And I paid Kagura and Kanna off the same way since they are whores. I paid Kagome cocaine too cause she's a school girl whore. Her deal is to lead the others around on a jewel shard hunt and convince her low IQ friends that you got away again."

The rafters creaked as the wind blew outside.

"Oh." Naraku said. "Well in that case, I'm screwed."

Day 14: Entry 245

Muwahahaha. Got this snowflake right where I want em'.

"Are you going to sit there and make idol threats, or are you going to tell me where you hid the shampoo?"

"Go ahead whip me, beat me, make me bleed, you'll never get me to sing!1!"

Tch. He'd like that wouldn't he?

Kinky-sex-lovin' Freak.

Day 14: Entry 246

"Rin! Bring me the keys."

Rin came skipping over with the keys on the magic eight ball key chain. The damn thing doesn't even work well. TT You shake it, and the message dice lands on its edge. Gay.

Day 14: Entry 247

"Have fun, Sesshomaru-sama! Rin will go get some ice cream!"

"No ice cream till you finish your cigarettes, Rin!"

I am SUCH a good parent.

Day 14: Entry 248

"Where's the shampoo, Naraku?"

Hey, that rhymed. O.o

Naraku just glared at me and said, "Your mama."

The rafters above moaned in anguish as several of my lovely brain cells died.

Day 14: Entry 249

What are the keys for you might ask?

Well they are for opening the trunk of evil torture devices.

…..

Hopefully you asked, or else how would the story have moved along?

Whether or not you asked, I opened the trunk anyway – so there.

Day 16: Entry 250

Okay, it's been 36 hours since my last entry.

I had Jaken set up three televisions and hook up 3 VCRs. I timed him too, the longer it took, the longer I would repeatedly kill him and bring him back to life later with my swords.

Anyway, since then, Naraku has been forced to continuously watch the movies Glitter, Herbie Fully Loaded, and Son of the Mask. These three movies by themselves make even rin want to slit her wrists, but when played at the same time, they are a tri-factor from hell.

He has one of those things on his head that force his eyes to stay open, so Jaken has to go in there and put eye drops in his eyes every few minutes or so.

Using a pair of headphones and a good stereo system, Naraku has also been forced to continuously listen to Celine Dion's greatest hits.

And if that isn't bad enough, he is also being fed a mixture of Red Bull and mouthwash three times a day. We never really stopped to consider whether or not Naraku has bowel movements. Although if he did, he more then likely would have taken a dump on Inu Yasha's face a long time ago…

Rin has been giving him a manicure and petacure, and now she's getting ready to paint his nails. I'm not really sure how this is supposed to help, but it keeps her occupied.

Day 16: Entry 251

After 40 hours I checked up on him. I paused the movies, turned off the sterio, and Rin put away her Nail varnish.

Tcha. He had drool running down his chin.

Funny, yet disgusting.

At least he's emotionally drained.

I asked him if he had had enough, "Are you ready to tell me where the shampoo is or do you need more time to think with-" I help up a CD, "- Barbara Streisand?"

Naraku gurgled and spasmed.

I wasn't sure what the hell that meant.

"Blink once yes, blink twice no."

He blinked once of course. Not even that Kagome chick can handle Barbara Streisand.

Day 16: Entry 252

I turned off the movies and read my astrology sign while waiting for Naraku to regain his motor skills.

"Leo will have to make a difficult decision today."

….that's really retarded. Who writes this shit?

Day 16: Entry 253

Naraku coughed and moaned, "Lobster bisque."

I guessed that meant he was ready to spill his guts about the shampoo.

Rin poured a bottle of water on his head.

"Alright, alright! That's enough!" Naraku barked.

She stopped pouring then looked at the water bottle. "Oops. Gotta go refill it." And she skipped away.

Day 16: Entry 254

"Well, then. The shampoo."

Naraku managed a weak laugh that he still tried to make sound evil. "Even if I tell you where it is, you'll never be able to get it."

"That's fine. I'm sure that another three days with the directors cut of Brokeback Mountain, you'll get around to telling that too."

"NO! AnyTHiNg BUT that! I'll TELL YOU EVERYTHING!111"

Day 17: Entry 255

Who'd of known the shampoo was hidden there? O.o

My hair looks and feels more fabulous then it has felt in days.

Don't tell anyone else I wrote this but…..

……

I'm a happy Shesshy.

Yus I am! Teehee!

Tell anyone I wrote that, and I'll clean your clock….

And it won't be cleaned with pinesol or anything fresh like that.

Day 17: Entry 256

With Inu Yasha and his possy gone, my shampoo in it's rightful place, and Naraku properly dispensed of in a trash pit somewhere, we can go on vacation to Osaka.

I have no idea what's in Osaka. I just picked some random city name that popped into my head. I don't even know if Osaka has even been named "Osaka" yet. Whatever.

Day 17: Entry 257

"Sesshomaru-sama! Come quick! You've got to see this!"

Ho shit, don't tell me you've started your period. TT

I don't think I'm ready.

Day 16: Entry 258

Good news – she didn't start her period.

However…

"Look, Sesshomaru-sama! Kittens! Captain Fluffy pants had kittens! Rin is a grand-mommy!"

Day 17: Entry 259

Oo wtf?

Day 17: Entry 260

"I'll call you Funken Wagnells; cause you're so adorable!"

THAT CAT IS A BOY! OO

"…..I'll call you Happy Mc Funbags; I'll call you Chopin Chopadopolis, I'll call you Whippet Shmoo; I'll call you Tippe-kyo-kya ….."

THAT CAT IS A BOY! OO WTF?

I'm frightened right now. .

I'm just going to end the journal now. O.o

But if you didn't already know…

I'm the prettiest character here. . ;;;

Fin

Well, that's the end and stuff. If you don't like the ending, you can write a new ending or continue a second journal for Sessy-pie… Just remember to send me a link if you do, m'kay?

Lata!


End file.
